whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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