real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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