You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
