11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
