We named our party play list daddy issues
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
