he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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