These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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