when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
wow bdsm is so cute
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize