I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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