anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
