Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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