hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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