I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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