I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
