Fuck appropriateness.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
