Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize