What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
