just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
