On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
