I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
where am i from again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
