Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
