So drunk its hurt
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
