i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
