So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
