How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
