If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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