we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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