I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
