Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
