Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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