You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
