Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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