My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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