is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Someone signed my nipple.
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