his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
