do herpes really smell.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
