Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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