His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
