I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
