I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
