He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
