That's intense
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
