Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
