I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize