Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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