I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
