I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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