Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
