Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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