Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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