Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
