Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
