I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
