The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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