Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
