If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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