I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
