she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
