At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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