idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
