So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize